but they all want the same why this long gone guy...

I still...

Was it for the food and the looks

food

His funny eyes 

The music 

His touch 

Those at the last moment kind of spontaneous invitations 

Was i more needy at that time?

I don't know what he did different from others. 

But he was kind of rude once

Showed his intentions 

But i still

He was so kind and bully at the same time

It's weird. 

Maybe I'm psychologically malformed to like those kind of people. To crave to get their attention. 

Or maybe i can still learn. Learn how to form healthy, accepting and real relationships. 

He wasn't a bad guy anyways.

But that's only the basis. 

He disappeared now. 

Absences tend to use a lot of space.

Nobody deserves that feeling of abandon after having received a hug and kisses that sent you directly to the universe and stars, the real ones now. 

I'm still learning 

To love

Myself 

Taking care of my needs and raising them up before everything and all that. 

I'm still learning. 

Thanks.