maybe the psychologist was right

 no, no quiero hacer nada con él

y no me siento pusheada a una mejor versión de mí misma

siempre lo tuve claro

me sentía bitch

y lo dije

también me sentía manipulada

todo lo que mis instintos me decían, aunque no lo pudiera poner en palabras, era cierto

y, por suerte, tuve el contraste de buenas amistades o algo así más genuino para poder decir acá no se siente bien siempre ser yo, no me agrada no sentirme suficiente a pesar de estar esforzándome por complacerte lo que puedo y a la par a mí misma, se contraponían

I need... I need...

 no, love is not enough and we do not have values in common

and you're not the first that feels a connection after talking to me

and probably not the last

and also that is not enough

and also I don't regret follwing my v-adrenaline 

it was good until it wasn't

ahora me siento devuelta a una versión mía que creía del pasado

al menos sirve para saber que aún no sanaba del todo esas heridas

me volví a sentir un poco enferma y tendré que comprar paltomiel

al menos ya es sólo bronquitis

pero sí, quiero cerrar esos "nuevos" proyecto que no me hacen bien

y no, no me escribías por estar preocupado por mi salud

sino probablemente porque te percataste que de nuevo ya ninguna mujer podía cuidarte como con tu esposa por su salud mental.

Bye.

 

I have to take care of myself now and it's hard.

I've got a long journey to go. And I won't care about the time it takes me or if feelings change within that time. 

If something is meant to be it just is as it is, like me being with myself everyday even if I forget to breathe I'm still breathing and better if I remember to do so, that simple,  just as it is.

Simple things aren't what you buy with money, they are simple things. Just that.

And you won't learn that from me because even today you keep on reading the part of the sentence that is more convenient or you're more likely to interpret totally missing the other part and then I feel guilty and then I notice I said it all, you were the one that didn't listen to the whole.

And I got tired and sick. Literally.

You had just one job. To respect my boundaries.

You didn't listen to the whole, just what you wanted to read and interpret.

I'm out. I think I don't even want to be your friend any more.

I don't feel like you ever wanted me, you wanted something from me. Those relationships are over.

I don't know. I only know I don't believe in you.

And that I can breathe.