hate that I can't let you go

I thought I would

But you keep on talking to me again and again

About any shit

And I thought you wouldn't be a le to talk about something different

I hate you

I like you 

I hate you

And then you Listen and try to help me out on this Black days. 

You stay I don't know when you will leave

But you still try and try everyday 

And that makes me cry

I got so mucho confused 

I don't know if I'm just too lonely and this is kind of an apego relationship again in my life

Or what

But you won't stop 

At least not toda and I was sure you wouldn't write anymore and was sad about it 

But you did

You freaky fearsome Person

You did

And I can' t stop answering

I might Lose it again

Another job

Again

But Life is so sad These days 

And I feel so lost and Not belonging anywhere

That I would sadly sleep wwirh your green light on in there

As if that would be enough. 

At least I still have a supportive mate there Kind of a friend that I supoorted in the past and she's still been there on These shitty days

And some people answered but my self esteem and my mood is like trash these days. 

Begging for love Begging for a job for an opportunity not again, please 

I know I have more vale but these days I just won't believe it and being Kind making a huge effort

It is simply not enough.

It's not fair that after All the effort and receiving congrats they say after all you're out of this project

I left so many shit I liked and loved behind only to accomplish their fuckin' expectations

To be just left out

Nights without enough sleep

Searching and searching

Fuck it. 

Will I ever learn from this and Not commit that same stupid mistake again?

I really this Was the Best decision to make

Why do I wanna die? 

And I know even if they still not erase that email and even if I get unemployed again I won't fuckin go back

No where he is no no no

I still would like to have hope that I could find something meaningful and decent for me to improve this World and get paid by the way. 

But I was hopeful that day and I was wrong

She says and he says and he says and he says it is better to leave it or being left out

But where? 

Where do I go? 

Where do I belong? 

Sad. 

And russia already reached chernobyl 😔this is one of the worst days 😢

Certainly. 

The only Thing that I have to

Have to recognize is that after all

I wasn't all alone like before of getting All these Jobs. 

I wasn't alone. 

But will they stay if I would leave or uf they fire me after all because of economy terms? 

Evetybody is disposable and I could See easily who of us could get disposed of and who had the favor from the Illuminati

I feel sad. 

I hate feeling that All of my effort was only meaningless and useless. 😔

I still don't understand... 

why I am still alive? 

Why do I exist? 

And the funniest question who cares and why don't you just kill your self, then? 

Nobody answers.

Just you answering my question of why do you share this stuff with me by saying because blabla and then jaja

Will you ever get tired of me? 

Honestly, I Was getting tired from you. 

Let's See what happens tomorrow. 

... If I am still alive.