I hate tomorrow.

 

 

 

 don't feel like celebrating and getting any calls 

 

 

 

even though I know I wouldn't get many

if any

I feel like locking the door with a chair.

For

Another dai-ly.

And I should be grateful

decir 

"gracias virgencita por la urgencia y trabajo concedido" como el 2009 alguien escribió a su altar

otherwise I would be talking to the walls.

Reminds you of someone?

someone you feel more pity for than me

this emptiness is killing

at least I fed myself and washed the shit afterwards

this is the living dead life I've got

Thanks-

 

You know nothing

it is just an empty house 

where nothing

ever

happens

just claiming about others

-just like me now, but thanks for the empanadas dad-

Thanks to me for moving and buying them

But that ain't family?

Ain't it?

 

Why do I see people on the streets or the grass with so little happier than us locked down in "heaven" where everything's right on your hand

just a fuckin' click of distance.

but if you need to go to the bathroom

and say so

there is little support.

Just shouting.

-Only recently a little smile and caring for a tiny amount

thanks for that, bro.-

 

Fuck it.

I just wanna like be on my room

with door closed for the whole next year

starting form tomorrow

to be a suicidal hikkikomori

and then they wonder why I don't have beautiful time with them

If I go there they're on sth else they can watch in any other moment

but me living

they don't even imagine how many times I've thought of suicide

they don't give shit

 

Just like gher.

When I visited her for the first time and came late for saying goodbye to the nicest one ever.

 

Life isn't only about gifts

it is about time

and you don't value mine.

 

That is why 

after all

I am grateful to them jobs even if without meaning still

 

they saved me from talking to the walls 

gave me job experiences 

and getting to know more people and perspectives

new countries

and more.

 

I'm thankful,

thank you.

 

Maybe it is the one good thing I achieved after all.

And I still don't know if I'll let myaself just be there

unhappily

if I will move towards the meaning 

or if I'll finally get fired and sad

and finally end up committing suicide.

 

 

Like the dead man I saw on the floor

unclean almost white.

SAD.

forgotten.

 

What was his name?

who cares?

 

That's life.

 

WITHOUT MEANING AND LOVE

LIFE IS THE WORST GIFT EVER,