pero sí, but I don't wanna givbe a fuck about it

 ninguna de esas personas tiene la culpa de nada

menos todavía de mis failures en las interacciones sociales

y mientras siga así y quieriendo quedar escondida tras la pantalla seguiré en la programación sin aparecer por completo

solo cuando desee

cuando me sienta cómoda 

 

y quizás sea cierto que no obtendré confianza por medio de una pantalla 

solo ha habido esas 3, 4 excepciones pero quizás muchas personas no se sienten cómodas así

y es válido que no den respuesta

si les incomoda

acceptance.

 

It hurts anyways

ya no existe lo que extrañas

lo que extrañas ya no existe

it no longer exist what you miss

what you miss doesn't exist any longer

and you never stopped feeling alone and missunderstood

 

but you don't have to hide no more

you don't have to show no more that you deserve something

just go on and grab it ike an orange from a Fruits Basket at the office

and if they call you drama queen it's okay for them to think so

it is not everything about me

it's not all of me

it doesn't represent my value

 

it hurt when you didn't want/care about my lemon

my dancing duck, my empanada, my carrot

again

 

don

 

you have to be able to receive the gift

because of the debt it indirectly creates 

the bond

the relationship

the shared moment

 

but your no, your silent rejection doesn't determine my real value 

after all.

 

take it easy he said

 

it is so true

even if I had broken it all all the office it didn't make me a worse person

todxs somos bien nacidxs decía él

efectivamente si creo que quien delinque roba mata apuñala tiene valor como yo

 

no puedo ser menos si me equivoco o no cumplo con x expectativas ya sean mías de otrxs o las que imagino que tiene otra persona. Y ya.

 

saber desde la cabeza y mente el problema que alguien o comunidad tiene diagnosticarlo no es saber resolverlo ni saber cómo apoyarles

and if you have to leave or you already left or are leaving

it is okay

just don't say you are different to others

because you are the same.

 

 

la honestidad es un valor primordial en mi vida y a veces no lo soy conmigo misma

pero es tiempo ya.

 

...

 

Es como ah, ya, te ibas el domingo, gracias por avisar/invitarme, que te vaya bonito 

 

y nada, gracias por ser igualmente mejor que mucha gente que solo pasó, you really tried a little to help me and sort shit out, to listen but it just doesn't work and it's not your responsibility

don't wanna waste your time either, you can give a fuck too.

si me saludas, yo lo haré 

aunque no tenga idea de nada sobre tu vida

y ya lentamente me importe cada vez menos por lo poco que sé y dejas entrever en el muro de hielo,

porque al final eres una persona como yo como cada quien

sólido, personalmente refiero el fluido

 

si me saludan lo haré y ya.

I'm not being the realest I can be with you

it gets scary to get more involved 

 

like if I say "pium" you're getting freaked out.

And I don't wanna giive a fuck about it.

Restricting myself to not bother  you

You say it doesn't bother you

but why is it needed to mention it if it doesn't

I know es machista este song

but the power it gives you

you couldn't ever imagine 

and I've been eating so much, too much

giving up my ideals for having "a good time" eating

in fancy places looking the money flow out of the pockets oh wow

and still with a full stomach I am still hungry 

left there with something missing

always

 

the hug the dog the instrument the promise the mountain the talk that never came

 

really don't fuckin bother writing to me again

 and please don't do it

what if I get locked down in my room and listen to music until I die

It is none of your business

the loneliness made me stronger

I wanna be the most real I can be 

the least fake possible.

To be free ~