even if it is symbolic or serious

I still don't want to Die or I've no longer been thinking so often about it.

That is why our time is over. 

I am sorry. 

I don't want to get depressed again. I hated that state of Mind. 

Anyways, I don't know how and when is time to let go old Things... 

Do you? 

... Let go old memories old papers, old everything; I have a lot to learn from g but maybe my time is soon getting over. Drastic but cutting off everything in order to not keep resources Stuck on waiting for something they don't know for sure if it is coming back. 

Meanwhile, others work in 2 places in what they like and in other stuff to make Money believing on their dreams and working Hard even if not seeing results immediately. I should learn from them. 

I don't know how I want what I want and I don't know exactly what I want. Do you? 

I am only sure that- like he said-everything that I tried and have done I put all of my efforts on achieving it. 

Just that. 

But what about me? 

Double Life... 

do you think I still have? 

Or I am just a worker who likes other stuff too; like arts, gender and other Things not related to the IT World directly?

Maybe I am too Hard in myself, like he said, and should stop wasting my time on doubting myself and better use it on doing and planning - less on planning I guess, more in doing and seeing & measuring :  that is the only way to adjust to reality.